"The ones who are hardest to love are usually the ones who need it the most."

done.

done with it.

tired of the tears.

tired of the mental game you play

tired of the "payback" you are piling on me

tired of drinking myself to sleep

tired of the 1am wakeup calls

tired of the 3am wakeup to nobody

tired of you not noticing

tired of...ugh...alot

done with it.

i say this now
....but with one wave or wink....i'd fall for you again.

DPP

its the small things that put a smile on my face
despite the glue like condition of the snow today
its always a relief and and happy to be back on the snow
then i return to my little abode
and my mind returns to chaos
note to self: just find year round snow

and i still smell like a campfire.

returning

booked to visit minnesota again.

never know how to feel when i go back. and now i go back to an empty house. an empty town.

always hoping/wishing i didnt have to go back alone.....i'll keep hoping for the next time.

powmow

And now you are showing up in her dreams.....
yet shes never met you.
kinda rearrry strange.

so thats it. Pow Mow is closed and done. what happens next?
Golf course?
Australia?
maybe that concussion was a little more severe than i let on.

i never cut there before. luckily i can blame it on the cat.

......i always wonder what that letter said.

We're already bogus
We're already fading
We'll never be The Rolling Stones
I'm staying home
Dementia and senility
My failing muscles atrophy
I've lost all ability
Falling apart!

Pretty sure I'm falling apart.

Yet again at work...my vision was impaired. First it was blacking out for a few seconds. Now its full on blurry for hours at a time. I suppose the concussion didnt help a few days ago. Do I have to eat again? The chicken scratches have come out full force. Like opening the flood gates...

The heartache,...needlessly to say, hurts. The sadness.....hurts. Sleepless nights. Tears. Its exhausting. And now the season is ending...which leads to job hunting. Now I wont have anything to occupy my mind, keep it busy, instead of racing, bouncing from thought to thought.

This whole life thing is exhausting.

Losing that trust you had/have in someone, thats a punch in the....head.

Maybe utah is telling me its time to go somewhere new.

And I am done with this
I wanna taste the breeze of every great city

"they're called chicken scratches".....

huh

huh, originally uploaded by lobster_editor.

its legal

pk

i'm sorry.

dont even know what these pills are.
but why not mix them with these booze.
dont even like beer, but sucking down whatever is available.
these tears are building up. soon the dam will break open.
thats three people i made cry this week.
made sure to punish myself.
havent felt this way, since the summer.
what happens next?...

starting to get to that numb feeling

beginnings

beginnings, originally uploaded by lobster_editor.

my morning thoughts

his and hers

his and hers, originally uploaded by lobster_editor.

(his and hers).........in that order.

Last night you showed up in my dreams again.

Thanks. Its nice to see you.

NEVER have I witnessed someone spitting in someones food, and allowing it to go out.
NEVER have I seen someone rub cheese on their feet/socks/shoes and then place it on an order.
NEVER have I been sickened by watching someone eat tainted food.
NEVER have I laughed so hard at the fact they ate the entire meal.
NEVER have I loathed someone so much.

until today.

M: theres no seatbelt here!

D: well just move a few things and use the other door

veg: ..........thats what she said

and we laughed and laughed

"why dont you just 'put out' Veg?"

....every other guy does.

rearrry?

I am holding half an acre
torn from the map of Michigan
and folded in this scrap of paper
is a land I grew in

Think of every town you've lived in
every room you lay your head
and what is it that you remember?

Do you carry every sadness with you
every hour your heart was broken
every night the fear and darkness
lay down with you

A man is walking on the highway
A woman stares out at the sea
and light is only now just breaking

So we carry every sadness with us
every hour our hearts were broken
every night the fear and darkness
lay down with us

But I am holding half an acre
torn from the map of Michigan
I am carrying this scrap of paper
that can crack the darkest sky wide open
every burden taken from me
every night my heart unfolding
my home

"so veg.....is St. Patty's day just an 'eye-gasm' day for you....ya know with the green everywhere?"...

VIRGO - The One that Waits (August 23 – September 22)
Dominant in relationships. Someone loves them right now. Always wants the last word. Caring. Smart. Loud. Loyal. Easy to talk to. Everything you ever wanted. Easy to please. A pushover. Loves to gamble and take chances. Needs to have the last say in everything. They think they know everything and usually do. Respectful to others but you will quickly lose their respect if you do something untrustworthy towards them and never regain respect. The do not forgive and never forget. The one and only. 7 years of bad luck if you do not forward.

it was a year ago today.

its sad i remember this

the beanie...the hoodie...

that look we gave each other that said: "found you"

ugh...i miss you

INFJ

INFJ

You are:
very expressed introvert
slightly expressed intuitive personality
moderately expressed feeling personality
slightly expressed judging personality

maybe just once

someone could say:

"hey, good job today."

i'll keep waiting.

You could do better, better than that
You're a fraud
Thank god you learned to keep your shirt on

heart on the sleeve

heart on the sleeve, originally uploaded by lobster_editor.

another self made tattoo

Dead Puppy Posse

thanks

wait, i'm wrong
should've done better than this
please, i'll be strong
i'm finding it hard to resist

so show me what i'm looking for

save me, i'm lost
oh lord i've been waiting for you
i'll pay any cost
save me from being confused
show me what i'm looking for
show me what i'm looking for
oh lord

don't let go
i've wanted this far too long
mistakes become regrets
i've learned to love abuse
please show me what i'm looking for