i wanted you...

YOU

next to me

this conversation happened twice tonight.
two different people:

hey...were you at 'Basin last week?
...i was there awhile ago.
yeah...it was thanksgiving. i thought that was you. the cook at powder mtn.

apparently i'm getting noticed.

L.O.V.E
its a

mystery

I made a mistake and I never forgot
I tied knots in the laces of
My worried shoes
And with every step that I'd take I'd remember my mistake
As I marched further and further away
In my worried shoes
oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo
My worried shoes
And my shoes took me down a crooked path
Away from all welcome mats

...f.....
now i need a drink
and a part of me doesnt want to stop


i need "therapy"
soon

so you showed up in my dreams last night.

how this happened i dont know.

youre not even here yet:

but i came to your "welcome to utah" party.

saw you sitting on the couch with another guy...felt kinda hurt.

you didnt look into him. but yet you didnt leave him.

i pretended it didnt bother me. nice lip ring though.

my guess is youre on your way.

getting up

only to be let down

tired of being here

missing your bedroom

wake up

they tell me "erase her from your phone, your life"

i simply say....."no"

it seems as though they notice me now. all of a sudden.

....ugh. my stomach.

C: yeah i can hear that. you wanna go to Denny's?

Um...what?...no that would be spoiling me!

C: ...hmm, how is Denny's considered that?

because normally i get told "its 2am, starve bitch"

C: i'm drinking this hot chocolate to help me from falling asleep. all the sugars should help.

A: ..........what are you?...like 5 years old?!

doesnt matter how old i am, where i'm at, who i'm talking to, what i'm reading, where i'm searching, what i'm watching, there is always a part of me that misses you.

Girl talk = pillow talk

you made me melt with the ice cream...

i didnt think i would have these feelings again

then you showed up

i like you next to me

i like when you tell me stories

i like your laugh

i'm excited to see you again

(and your teeth grinding)

Helllooooo Nurse

IMGP2729, originally uploaded by lobster_editor.

4am coffee with Jesus and THE nurse at Denny's
and I was going to miss it.
i'm glad i made it.

i havent touched that stuff in a long time
but there we are at work, in the secret passage
hitting it
i like how, not until i moved to utah, that i experiment/resume drugs
utah of all places.
and i'm ok with that. no excuses.

you showed up in your beanie....and i instantly melted

Come tomorrow.I'll be on my way back home.In the morning,call from a roadside telephone.One night,doesn't mean the rest of my life.If I go it's not impossible,but possible is probably wrong.So, let go because I'm afraid to try.I'll keep my hands by my side.I won't come back.I hope someday you'll understand.I want to try and make it right,but I don't know if I can.Last night,everything was right and the rain was gone.One summer's night's the only time we know.Shut your eyes,when you wake up, I'll be gone.

lint of love

lint of love, originally uploaded by lobster_editor.

“Now that I have found someone, I'm feeling more alone.. than I ever have before.”

IMGP2691

IMGP2691, originally uploaded by lobster_editor.

so she tells me i cross my arms alot. i say "its just a natural position"..... but i wonder if thats such a good thing.

"This can indicate that a person is putting up an unconscious barrier between themselves and others. It can also indicate that the person's arms are cold which would be clarified by rubbing the arms or huddling. When the overall situation is amicable, it can mean that a person is thinking deeply about what is being discussed. "

IMGP2650

IMGP2650, originally uploaded by lobster_editor.

highlight

IMGP2675

IMGP2675, originally uploaded by lobster_editor.

called me on the phone and you touched yourself. i laughed myself to sleep.

IMGP2659

IMGP2659, originally uploaded by lobster_editor.

the scars.........the memories

Ipod vending machines

Really? Where am I?...when did this idea start?
How did I end up back in MN?....
...i dont see this as being a "happy" trip.
speaking of a happy trip...I'd like to purchase more mushrooms. Possibly to do them in Vegas. Whoa.
New Ink

photos on the way soon.

IMGP2631

IMGP2631, originally uploaded by lobster_editor.

i left earth

IMGP2635

IMGP2635, originally uploaded by lobster_editor.

mushrooms...writing

IMGP2636

IMGP2636, originally uploaded by lobster_editor.

my night on mushrooms....writing with my eyes closed

in the bathroom...

in the bathroom..., originally uploaded by lobster_editor.

Apparently there are photos/video of me dancing on the piano at the bar.....i would like to see these

sureeee

sureeee, originally uploaded by lobster_editor.